Has it ever occurred to you that many expats came here with the intention of staying and “building a life, finding a partner.”? Teaching English in Japan for some of us is a career choice and for others a stopgap before putting their ability to read, write, and speak Japanese to some practical use.

As for not being accepted, we are accepted, for what we are: foreigners. That is what we are and any attempt to see yourself as anything other than that is merely an exercise in self delusion. I find your convistion that foreigners in Japan are somehow unique ludicrous (” I’m that unique foreigner; there aren’t too many of us.”) Actually there are hundreds of thousands of us. You have sometimes referred to yourself as being treated as a “celebrity” when in Japan. I have yet to find a long-term resident of this country who has experienced the degree of adulation that seems to have come your way. So in that respect perhaps you are indeed unique.

You suggest that your “fading Japanese skills” are holding you back from working as a consultant. If you are as conversant as your website suggests (you offer your services as a translator)then all you have to do to maintain your familiarity with the language is to read it as often as possible. Japanese newspapers, books, and magazines are readily available.

I am sorry if my comments appear negative, but my intention is to encourage you to look a little more closely at yourself rather than construct excuses for why you have been unable to attain the degree of success in this country that you appear to desire.

Best regards,

Bill

I’m honored to be included in your list of repatriated expats to turn to. I know exactly what you’re thinking because I’ve already been there a couple times… and both times I chose to leave the US. I really relate to everything you said. I knew I would find myself in this situation if I didn’t force myself to make it work after arriving home (I’m still working on this since I haven’t even gotten settled yet), and the way I did it was by buying a brand new car with Dave. We have to stay now, at least for a little while. I struggle with the idea that in Asia I can have a good paying job with benefits AND respect. That’s not easy to find as a 25 year old vagabond in the US.

But you’re right, as an expat you will always be an outsider and you have to work extra hard to stay peppy and make sure you don’t become bitter. And yes, I think continuously heading back to Asia to teach can be a way to delay “real life”. But Japan is awesome. I haven’t worked there, but I’ve always wanted to. I would say only go if you make serious promises to yourself. Set goals you must follow through on and make sure that you are working toward something that will help prevent you from ending up like this next time you come home.

One thing I’ve noticed though, is that the more time you spend abroad, the harder it is to assimilate in America. You can’t be really at home abroad or in the US then. It’s so difficult to quiet that inner voice that wants to just pack and leave. I admit that if I didn’t have Dave, I would probably be planning another trip abroad. So I guess if I were in your shoes, I would probably choose Japan. It’s hard to say no if Japan is calling…. but I will say this, the more challenging option is staying in America. Perhaps you might be more rewarded in the end by staying a little longer and really trying to make it work.

Does that help? We’ll be passing through San Fran the first weekend in May. I hope we can meet up!

Cheers!